Goat Simulator Remastered Review: Goat, GOAT, GOATS

Successful video games are either masterfully polished, unique experiences or experiences so ridiculously bad that they become memorable. Goat Simulator is one of the latter, and the team is back to offer their absurd remaster after just having released Goat Simulator 3, skipping the second installment entirely.

Goat Simulator Remastered, the newest advancement in goat simulation technology, comes from Coffee Stain Studios. Launched on November 7, 2024, it’s accessible on PC, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, and Nintendo Switch. This edition revives the tumultuous sandbox gameplay, allowing players to wreak havoc as Pilgor the goat. It includes all the downloadable content from the original game, offering an all-encompassing experience of caprine chaos.

It’s Not Glitch, It’s a Feature

The narrative of the game is intentionally simplistic, emphasizing the ludicrous aspects of the gameplay over an intricate storyline. Players have the opportunity to venture through various themed zones such as Goatville, Goat City Bay, Goat MMO, Goat Z, PAYDAY, Waste of Space, and Buck to School. Each zone provides distinct activities, quests, outfits, and extraordinary powers, ensuring a unique experience with each session. 

The game boasts state-of-the-art goat simulation technology, reviving the cherished disorderly sandbox experience with enhanced visuals, comprehensive DLCs, and an abundance of glitches to encounter.

The game cleverly turns many of its glitches into features, such as a goat’s tongue getting stuck to a human NPC’s arse, followed by launching them into the stratosphere. Moreover, the human NPCs in this remaster are so grotesquely designed that they could rival even Silent Hill’s level of horror.

Goat Physics

Goat Simulator Remastered preserves the original game’s endearing bugs, featuring physics anomalies, spontaneous ragdolls, and amusing glitches that contribute to its whimsical appeal. The controls are user-friendly, allowing players to easily immerse themselves in the mayhem. Gamers can headbutt, perform backflips, and fling themselves across levels to accumulate points and devise inventive methods to disrupt an NPC’s routine.

That said, your playthrough might encounter numerous bugs due to the game’s goat physics and unpredictable gameplay. With such a flexible system, tracking progress can become quite challenging. Fortunately, the game somewhat mitigates this issue with its inventory system, which is simplistic yet fits the chaotic nature of the game.

Goat Simulator Remastered introduces a novel mutator menu that lets players combine different goats as they please, enhancing customization and replay value. Its comedic style and unpredictable gameplay provide an entertaining experience for newcomers and veterans alike. Although Goat Simulator Remastered retains all the elements that made the original game endearing, it simplifies many of the core achievements, resulting in a varied array of enhancements that might occasionally feel insubstantial. Nonetheless, the game’s enduring bugs, particularly the physics-related ones, continue to contribute to its quirky appeal.Th

Remaster or Demaster?

The remastered edition boasts enhanced graphics, polished textures, more vibrant foliage, and an overall superior visual experience. While these improvements are appreciated, they may not be substantial enough for some players to justify buying the game if they already own the original. Moreover, the game introduces new lighting, visual effects, and animations, showcasing the zenith of advanced goat simulation technology. The remaster includes all the downloadable content from the PC version, along with a favored mobile feature, ensuring that players have access to the complete range of content that has been made available over the years.

However, not all maps are updated with the same attention to detail. Maps such as the MMO have enhanced textures, assets, level of detail (LOD), and foliage. In contrast, maps like Goatville and City Bay appear outdated and primitive visually, with low-quality texture assets and particularly the human NPCs, which are quite unappealing in appearance. 

Real Talk

Goat Simulator Remastered successfully captures the essence of the original game, providing a polished and enjoyable experience. Its intuitive controls, humorous gameplay, and nostalgic feel make it a delightful addition to any gamer’s library. However, with Goat Simulator 3 priced similarly, the upgrades may not justify a purchase for those who own the first game, creating a quandary for loyal enthusiasts. Moreover, investing your money elsewhere might be advisable considering its wild and disorderly campaign.

Final Rating: 65/100