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Have you ever looked at your textbook of Hamlet in English class and thought “Man, I really wish this were a choice-based video game that was fully voice acted with an amazing choir”? Well, me neither, but lo and behold, there is such a game in the form of Astrologaster!

Developed and published by Nyamyam, Astrologaster is a comedy game set in Shakespearean London. You step in the shoes of Simon Forman, a lesser known present day historical figure, but apparently popular amongst astrologers. So in non-accordance with the stars, what does methinks of the game?

A Hysterical Historical Comedy

It’s the 1590s, so of course, there’s the plague going around. Luckily, ‘doctor of physik’, Simon Forman, is here to save the day. Equipped with the knowledge of the stars, Simon comes up with his famous cure of strong water. Yes, it’s just called ‘strong water’. As one does, Simon decides his brilliance is adequate enough to give out medical expertise, despite not being licensed for it. What follows is a number of ‘querents’ showing up at Forman’s doorstep and a whole lot of hilarity.

Basically, you’re lying through the skin of your teeth as you infer from the symptoms that your patients list. For instance, a cause for celebration and vomiting the next day might suggest that they’re ‘with child’. At times, patients will even come forth to you on advice regarding their future, such as whether or not they should marry their cousin Barbara (they really shouldn’t). This largely determines how things play out in the game, and you might even end up killing a person or two. Not willingly of course. 

The verbose olden English is quite unlike what you’re probably used to hearing, and it really adds to the humor of the game. Words like ‘chundering’ and ‘humpy strumpy’ really tickled my funny bones. There’s all sorts of quirks in the writing that will get a good snort out of you. A good number of historical references are present as well, as you’d expect with a game of its nature, so folks aware of the 16th century shenanigans are sure to get a kick out of it.

Oh My Stars

There’s not a whole lot to the gameplay besides turning the page and choosing an alignment of stars, but there’s is an objective to keep in mind. As Simon is very much a self-proclaimed doctor, you must do whatever you can to please your patients and obtain a letter of recommendation from them. And this really means whatever you can. If your patients are not satisfied with your diagnosis, your approval rating goes down. Almost like what you’d expect from a ye olde review app. 

There is of course a lot of back-and-forth between Simon and his patients, and from this, as well as events happening with other patients, you can infer about what the best course of action is. It is important to pay attention to what’s being, so the game is rather dialogue heavy. It’s not something I worried for the most part however, on occasions where I’d space out and miss the previous line of dialogue, I really wished there was a way for me to scroll back to what I skipped out on.  

Upon obtaining 8 letters of recommendation, you’re now considered a real doctor. Although if you really upset a patient, you can entirely lose their business. There’s no real way to lose the game as far as I can tell, so you can select completely random readings and enjoy all the madness unfold. 

This is probably what really draws me to Astrologaster; it reads like a Victorian comedy drama. Not only are you a scummy person, but your patients are as well! It can get pretty entertaining to hear about how Robert Devereux’s attempts at regaining Her Majesty’s favour have led to favours of a different nature. Some story points for some characters and interconnected with others, and there will be tidbits of gossip patients will have about other patients. If that’s not your cup of tea, you might not see the appeal, but there is a load of other things to admire about the game.

All the Game’s a Stage

Astrologaster’s skit-like voice acting is remarkable, and every character that makes an appearance is voiced. Even better are the ones that don’t make an appearance, the choir. The instances where they chime in to fill in on a bit of story or to jab about a character’s personality are what make the game so distinct and memorable. 

In harmony, there’s also the game’s pop-up book artstyle, which ties in really well with the game’s aesthetics. The sounds of paper turning and and characters disappearing from the screen like actual paper models are a real treat. The attention to detail with all little outfits are a charming touch as well.

Forsooth, ‘Tis Good

I’m not entirely sure who this game caters to. Theatre nerds? History majors? Pop-up picture book enthusiasts? I don’t fall into any of those categories, however Astrologaster was an unexpected delight! I’m not sure if the game is really meant for anyone and everyone, as it fits a certain niche, but you might find yourself thanking the stars that you picked it up. At the price of $9.99, Astrologaster is now available on the Nintendo eShop.

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